Yesterday, someone who has become really close to me, told me something that many people have told me during the past few months but I still refused to see as an issue. He said, ‘you need to start putting yourself first…you’re not selfish enough’…I never thought that could possibly be an issue, I thought the more I gave of myself, the more I received, the better I would feel, etc. That is simply not the case.
I’ve learnt that everything needs limits and I simply gave until the point of no return, the point when it hurts too much, to the point I was left feeling empty, and man, does it SUCK. I guess I needed some lessons in order to learn about limits and people and when to stop giving or investing myself emotionally to the point of draining myself.
I don’t wanna be more selfish…I don’t even know where to start, but I do want to put myself first from now on. I want to learn to be happy by myself and with myself and to put my plans ahead of everything else, because in the end the race is only with yourself and no matter how much people claim they love you, they will always choose the easy way out if it means ‘winning’ or getting ahead and then you are left feeling like used baggage, and I’m sorry, but you’re not used baggage. You matter too.
I will probably keep on giving and loving passionately, because I can’t change who I am, yet, the days where everyone else’s feeling come first than mine or what I want…those days are gone. I matter too and I have so much to offer the world and maybe the world could see it if I just believed it enough to let it show 🙂
Remember, y’all matter, too 😉